“A Three C's Model and Desire versus Fear”
Written By: Jessica Hartwig, PCC
A Professional Certified Results Life Coach
“Growth happens outside of your comfort zone.” ~ Will Guidara (from his book Unreasonable Hospitality)
Clarify, Choose, Create
Clarify, Choose, Create framework is a psychological 3-step method created by psychologists Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin and Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin. They introduced this model in their 2020 book, Own Your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life, specifically as a structured process to help individuals overcome Imposter Syndrome. This model can also utilize your internal abilities to think about what you desire in your life instead of what you fear to happen in your life.
What is getting in your way? It's likely fear. Getting out of fear is walking away from so many of the negative dynamics around you. It's noticing those native dynamics and changing how you think. It is stepping out of shame, sadness, suspicion and anger. It is thinking about what you desire, reacting and communicating from love and living a life where fear does not dominate your inner thoughts and daily being.
What events in your life have made you feel anger, guilt and paranoia? This is fear. Comparing yourself to others: this is fear.
One of my favorite beliefs is… “Everything is figure-out-able.” I believe that… We each hold our own answers within. Our inner answers help us “figure out” every challenge. “Everything” we experience is a step toward our best life, if we want to see those challenges as steps to our answers and our life goals, then we can move fast creating our most desired and best life.
What exactly do you want to bring into your life? Only you know the deepest details of exactly what you want to bring into your life. You can raise your happiness and peaceful possibilities by thinking and living for what you desire.
This is the clarification piece.
Clarification often has to do with what you are feeling. Truly identify you're feelings. What feelings are coming up for you when you think about past fears and past desires? Notice. Reflect on your past fears and your past desires. How does your body change when you think about the past fears in your life? How do your body and your mind physically react as it notices your past desires, how you've overcome challenges, your happiest moments, and your lightest days?
There may be forgiveness there to release. There may be new support to seek. There can be resolve.
Your current emotions will connect you to what's going on in your mind and your body. Your emotions are big clarifiers.
A Simple Exercise
1. Breathe deeply and center.
2. What is your daily baseline like? Your baseline is the energy you hold, the frequency, the vibe, the light within you. Notice where your current baseline lies.
3. Where do you want your baseline to be? How do you want to feel inside your body? Notice how you have access to more positive feelings. Notice how your vibration changes by just thinking higher thoughts. Notice how your frequency is rising. You now have tapped into that elevation.
4. Breath deeply and give gratitude.
Healing your past always comes at the right time. The highs and lows of life are not to be feared. Notice how your challenges have been lessons that grow you. Healing from those past challenges reclaims your future with action toward the vitality you want to receive. With the right support, with the right intention, with the hard work, and with love in mind… You can receive your desires.
This is the choose piece:
Opportunities always exist for you. Even in the most difficult imaginable situation, opportunities always exist for you. You can represent your dreams by trying harder. When you understand that your dreams represent what your future can look like, your next step is action. Your action is you trying harder.
Speak Your Truth: Express your achievements and thoughts authentically without downplaying your success.
Silence Negative Thoughts: Challenge your inner critical voice and automatic negative thoughts by noticing this chatter. (Ethan Kross’s book CHATTER shares deep insights on self-talk while sharing his research-based strategies for managing our inner negative voice. I found his book an excellent resource for further actionable steps within Your Three C’s Model that I have outlined here).
Prioritizing Self-Care: Rejecting burnout habits like overworking or over-preparing to "prove" your worth.
This is the create piece:
Fear and love are the baseline of all emotions.
An emotion is a complex psychological and biological response to something meaningful in our environment or our thoughts. Emotions involve changes in the brain, nervous system, hormones, muscles, facial expressions, attention, and behavior.
“There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It's true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it's more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They're opposites. If we're in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we're in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.” ~ Elisabeth Kubler Ros
Experimenting with New Roles: Move away from rigid identities like the "Perfectionist" or the "Soloist" or the “Introvert”.
Building a "Dream Team": Surrounding yourself with mentors, peers, and allies who support your growth. Who do you really want at your personal conference table?
Designing Optimal Environments: Establish boundaries and conditions in your work and personal life that foster your most optimum life.
“I don't want to hold on to things in the past that happened. I want to move forward.” ~ Priscilla Presley
Your words create your frequency. Your thoughts create your frequency. Your actions create your frequency. Your frequency strengthens your core. Your core creates your future.
“Pain pushes until the vision pulls.” ~ Michael Beckwith
When you think about what you desire and not what you fear, you take the steps toward experiencing exactly how you want to experience life; one desirable change at a time. Your frequency is a gift. Even if your signal is faint, even if it is hidden… Your frequency represents living your dreams.
“Value your time, talent, and treasures.” ~ Jessica Hartwig, PCC
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